Invisible Monsters

The world is full of invisible monsters that I have always been able to see from the age of three. At the age of 33, I see them more vividly. I often wonder if I am on the verge of insanity, but then something happens in my life that causes me to realize that ignoring these invisible monsters is crazier than being insane. 

Jack Dawson, the Snapping Turtle

The snapping turtle was the size of an average car's steering wheel. He was sitting on the side of the road as I took my morning walk. DANG...I forgot my camera. Have to commit this to memory, which I HATE to do because I think my memory storage is full and only allows a certain number of pics and info to hold before it has to delete old stuff. I don't want to delete the old stuff. What's the point of having a memory if you have to get rid of the old stuff to put new stuff in it. Isn't that what the memory is for?? (I am starting to become the QUEEN of ending sentences with prepositions..I gotta get a handle on this.)

Anyway, I don't think I have seen a snapping turtle this close. I thought it was a mutant turtle; a cross between a turtle and an alligator or something. It had ridges on his/her back and NO NECK. There was NO neck on this turtle. He/she only had a big old head sticking out of it's shell. His head was as big as my leg!! He had his mouth open the entire time I was looking at him. He NEVER moved either. Probably an intimidation tactic for snapping turtles. I am weak. I wanted to pick him up but there is NO way that I could have lifted him without getting my hand snapped off by his enormous mouth. His mouth was bigger than my leg!! I wanted to get a stick and put it in front of his mouth and see if he would snap it in two. The only thing that kept me from doing all of this is that I was afraid that I would get up to him and fall down and then I wouldn't have time to get back up before he walked up to me and attacked me. I think he might have been an attack snapping turtle. He could have been. He was creepy looking. He would have made a huge pot of turtle soup...GROSS!

I look for him now every time I go walking. He walked away and I will probably never see him again. This is just like Rose and Jack from the movie Titanic. "He exists now, only in my memory."....Rose about Jack and Theresa about Turtle

My turtle's name will be:
Jack Dawson

T:)

A Mexican on a 4 Wheeler Drinking a Beer

A Mexican on a 4-Wheeler drinking a beer came up to me the other day…..

 

No. Really. HE DID!

 

I was out walking on our country road (it is paved) and there was NO ONE around. I heard something coming up behind me that sounded like a riding lawn mower about 10 miles away. Out in the country, when a person hears a car coming, it takes a LONG time for the car to actually get there. I looked behind me and saw from a distance what I thought was a guy riding a white riding lawn mower. He was going really slow. I turned around and kept walking. The sound grew louder and louder until finally it was right on me. I stopped and looked around, and a Mexican on a 4-wheeler drinking a beer had stopped right behind me. He wanted to talk.

 

Do I talk to this stranger? Who is he? He kinda looked like Cheech from Cheech and Chong. I thought, “what the heck!”. If Cheech drove up behind me, I would talk to him. That is not very good logic. I couldn’t outrun him. He was on an extremely slow 4 wheeler but I am an even more extremely slow runner. I would be running slow and he would catch up with me on his slow 4 wheeler. It would be pitiful!!

 

That man spoke English…a lot of English. He was a tipsy talking English speaking Mexican and I had to get home and poop. I usually walk 2 miles a night, but I had cut it short because I had to get home and poop. It was bad. My luck that this happens.

 

REALLY!!??

 

I love intros to stories. The rest I would have to make up because after that, it wasn't too exciting.

 

T:)

A Two-fer.....2 for 1 Today

People.

People make the most interesting stories. When the day begins, I can't wait to see and hear people. If I go through a day without meeting someone with color and grit, I kinda feel a little let down.

My goal every day is to meet a person on their level. To stand on a ladder to meet them or crawl on the floor to get to them. People have heart and needs and emotions and feelings and laughter and tears.

I think with "A 100 Words A Day" I will write one story about the people I meet and THEIR story, not mine!

The other cool thing is that Jesus loves these same people too. More than I could EVER think about loving them.

YUM!!
T:)

Johnny Cash aka Johnny ONE Note

Cousin Twila called me yesterday at work and for some reason that I absolutely DON’T know, we got on the subject of Johnny Cash.

I don’t care much for his music. I made that comment one time to my husband and now he says that I HATE Johnny Cash. I don’t hate him.

I could never figure out what all the hype about him was all about. My cousin said that my Aunt Fran used to call him “Johnny One Note”. We laughed about that one. As soon as she said it, I started laughing because I knew exactly what she was talking about. Sorry Johnny Cash fans. I apologize in advance for laughing. It’s funny though!

 

Last week, I talked to Clint who was playing the bass for a Johnny Cash impersonator at a local show. I made the comment about Johnny’s music and how I didn’t really care for it. He didn’t either. It was a paying gig so he took it. I didn’t realize that so many people have these opinions of Johnny.

 

All of my Johnny Cash conversations seem to take place at my work desk. People call me, I talk about Johnny Cash. Weird. How does this happen? When Cousin Twila finished talking to me and I hung up the phone, I jokingly made a comment to the lady that works behind me about Johnny being called “Johnny One Note”. She said “Now, he’s not that bad. You know that I am related to him? My maiden name was Cash. Grandma wouldn’t claim him because she thought that he had went to prison”.

 

I LOST IT! I started laughing so hard that tears were rolling down my face. I have been talking about Johnny Cash at work for all of these months and had NO IDEA the lady behind me was his cousin.

 

THAT IS FUNNEH!!

T:)

Is There a Woman Out There That Needs a Drunk for a Boyfriend?

Vernon asked me yesterday if I knew of any women out there that wanted a “drunk” for a boyfriend.

 

It was 9:30a.m. and he smelled a little like he could have been hitting the Rufus Juice early (special note: Rufus Juice was what my dad called alcohol because their was a local gentleman in the area that my dad worked that made moonshine and his name was Rufus).

 

He told me that he spent the night in jail because he threw a mop at his “fat” woman.

 

I didn’t know what to say, which is strange for me because I always know what to say.

SO, I said:

 

“Vernon, why did you throw a mop at her?”

 

He said, “She wouldn’t shut up!”

 

Sounds logical to me.

 

He should have thrown a pillow.

 

He said that she is still at the house and she is probably cutting up all of his pants and shirts.

 

Who does that?

 

I guess a fat girl that just had a mop thrown at her.

 

Life is simple.

The answers are ALWAYS right in front of us if we’d just look!

 

Anybody out there need a drunk for a boyfriend?

 

I Like Tubas

As I am typing this, I am listening to Tuba Skinny on YouTube playing a song called "Sweet Potato Blues". I like sweet potatoes too.

This group has a tuba in it playing on beat 1 and 3. LOVE IT! It would totally change the song if the tuba played on beat 2 and 4. I think people would be thrown off a bit. Changing timing on anything throws people off. To throw people off on timing, one has to be VERY GOOD at setting the pace and then POW.........throw something off by changing the place that you put down the beat, still keeping time of course. That is HARD to do. I love playing music with people that have GOOD timing. I must profess, I am a Timing Junkie and I will try to throw 'em off by switching rhythm but keeping the same tempo. It's like playing tag or something.

Does any of this make sense?

Anyway, I like Tubas.
(this really didn't have anything to do with tubas, did it?)

T:)